I think im losing it,but in the most sane way possible.Im losing it,sanely? Yes, i am aware of the contradiction embodied in the statement.Its weird,i dont know how to explain it.I will try anyway.

It's like i know that my thoughts are going haywire and my thought process seems likes its jumping beyond rationality.I think about things or people that i should definitely not and absolutely must not think about.I cant control my thoughts anymore,it like some other being is controlling my brain.I imagine this 'being' to be a plankton-like creature sitting in the centre of my brain with a remote control;jumbling all my thoughts together like it was his giant veiny-playground.the plankton-like creature laughs evily when it succeeds in making me think the way it wants to.I can hear its laughter,its mocking me and i feel like squeezing it dry.
thus i conclude that because i partially have no more control of my thoughts,i am losing it.going crazy.the mad-woman in the attic.GILA.미쳤어.

The sane part -- Although my thoughts run wild like toddlers with too much sugar,i seem to be retain normality(normal by my standards anyway) in reality.The thoughts in my mind are not transferred out of my mouth or through my actions.Its all very puzzling.
This leads me to believe that i really am turning crazy.

HOW D:? that being said,even if i turn crazy,its good-crazy right? since technically,my thoughts torment nobody but myself? hmmm. yes yes. i guess there are positives in this!
like uhmm...who else has a micro-organism in their brains?
hopefully the evil plankton does not misplace or burn the thought-file where i save all the things i need for promos,as it is the file's arent anywhere complete or full T__T.



currently: waiting for the way way way overdued urban notes to be printed.Yes,i know that the modules gonna end.I feel helpless and heavy-hearted thinking of the studying that i've been neglecting.This,ever so evident in the backlog of tutorials and assignments that i have managed accumulate way more efficiently than the savings in my POSB.I really do not like the lazy,dependent creature that i am now D:
For this,i pray my hardest that i will overcome this phase of slow-motion self-demise.I pray that i will have enough endurance to say 'my will is strong,my books are open.i really want to study!' I pray that with ever failed attempt at binomial,i do not give in to the math devil.I pray that i will not start hating the things i used to love so dearly.I pray that,in the midst of this battle,i will at least retain the little sanity i have left.I pray that,when all of this is over,we will all be OKAY.



Most of the time i go to youtube,i'd search one thing and that will lead to 839839391839 other things,which causes me to spend more time there than supposed to.

So just for fun,these are the things i find myself typing on the search bar tonight.

1. Tiger JK Yoon Mi Rae
2. Alex Clazziquai
3. Supreme Team
4. The Movement Crew
5. Dok2
6. Kang Ji Hwan
7. Adam movie
8. 500 days of Summer
9. YG family
10. 1tym

As i sit on my bed,typing this whilst listening to lee minki's new mini album* and finishing up calling the rest of 'roll the coconut' participants for funfestique tomorrow**,somewhere in a VIP room in some hospital in Seoul;Kang Daesung is in pain.
and it feels like one of my closest friends is in the hospital and i feel the urgency to go to the hospital and comfort him,eventhough i hate hospitals because they remind me of pain and pills and death.


And maybe one day,ill grow out of being pathetic.Well,hopefully i will.but for now,i guess ill have to roll around in this pit of helpless-ness till the korean press reveals he is truly,okay.btw,this is not a depressing post.i swear.Im just mildly disturbed that there's nothing i can do and me realising that its okay to be pathetic and admitting it as it is okay to embrace your flaws and accepting them.(unless you dont have flaws and have extremely quick reflexes that produce answers to math problems at the speed of light.then,god made you perfect.)

*-Lee Minki's mini album is surprisingly good for a crossover actor-singer.It does help that he and me have similar hairstyles.pahahaha! (refer Fig 1.0)
**-FUNFESTIQUE! ohmyohmy.I am infinitely proud of my atlas house members and the lovable atlas hc for doing so well and giving their best in Funfestique so far,really.Last two days,let's kick it in full gear,bananas! Btw,im playing 'roll the coconut' tmrw.No matter how i think about it now,i think 'roll the coconut' sounds very kampong-ish.Not that i am from a kampong or a village or the slums of Jakarta for that matter,abang mohan.TSKTSKTSK.






The moment i logged into IVLE,i knew it wasnt going to be pretty.
I HATE CLICKING ON THAT ANNOYING BLINKING ANNOUNCEMENTS BUTTON.

all of a sudden everything i have at the back of my head like : gp assignment,maths TYS,omgsuyouhaventpayattentiontoanythingforURBAN,promos,promos,FUCK!ITSPROMOS coupled with everything on the announcements like:comepreparedfortutorial:geog,econs test this week,URBANTESTNEXTWEEK.OMFG! and things ms pearlin likes to say like:"Pls do not copy from your friends. Anyone found letting your friends copy or copy from your friends, I will be very upset :( " or "3 weeks to PROMOS",i see everything all rolled up into a giant tsunami thats 5 floors tall and i become like Johnny Depp in the Spongebob squarepants special and i suddenly dissappear into the huge tsunami-wave.

gahh,i hate this. T_T.


wanted to change blogskins suddenly.dont know why.
maybe this is an omen.

the quotes above are from dynamic duo's beyond the wall.

손을 뻗어봐 손을 뻗어봐
이제 한계라는 커튼을 걷어봐

THINGS I DID SINCE THE LONG WEEKEND STARTED.

1. 'celebrated' National Day in school.It wasnt hyped which was sad coz national day in yt was like one of the biggest events and they'll be parade and a lot of running around trying to catch mr teo and matthew after that to take pictures with them. (HAHAHA. ruohan,shubaa,me and the little but hot guys in yt!)
2. went to the library alone.which i love because when i choose my books i want to take my time,without the pressure of being with someone and trying to fit them in my browsing schedule.I like to round the shelves 832938791 times until i think ive found the right books. the books which i take,read the sypnopsis and say "THIS IS IT!" right away.
3. Watched 'nur kasih' on sensasi on friday night after class.Dont know why,but i really like it.its not nonsensical like most malaysian dramas. then i watched '2days1night' and couldnt stop grinning everytime the camera showed lee seung ki. he is too lovely,i swear.
4. Today,we went to johor to buy baju kurung for hari raya.WE ALWAYS GET IT EARLY COZ WE'RE TOO LAZY TO GO OUT DURING FASTING MONTH. i got a black one and a purple one. but i dont really care coz they all look the same to me.
   
5. then to city square where we shopped and i had to fold my arms the entire time we were 1m away from the shoe shops coz they had a sale.I refrained coz i just bought shoes a few weeks ago.BUT THEN MY SISTER BOUGHT VANS' NEW LOAFERS and i was so happy coz i thought we could share,BUT NOOOO. she has small feet. T_T
6. now i feel like crying coz i didnt get new shoes,but she did.

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE THE WEEKEND ENDS.

1. do the insane pile of overdued homework.
2. Make my revision timetable because PROMOS are effing near and i do not want to get retained,really. No seriously,i dont.
3. Hang up the good ol' motivation board coz thats what i do when big exams come near.
4. Go to the borders' book fair. (just because!)
5. watch the latest episodes of Partner.
6. say the pledge at 8:22. (nah,not really. maybe ill say it at 8:45.)

THINGS I DONT WANT TO,BUT HAVE TO DO BEFORE THE WEEKEND ENDS.

1. do the insane pile of overdued homework.
2. clean the room T_T
3. go to the cemetery on monday morning (because it's emotionally draining to visit grandparents you wished you were closer and nicer to when you were younger coz the only way you can be nice to them now is through putting flowers on their graves DDD: & its scary to realise that one day,you'll be underground too.)
4. WR & EOM. (all these acronyms are freaking IVLE.)
5. clean the room T_T coz i'll mess it up again after cleaning it.
6. part with the long weekend and wake up to the cold tuesday morning that spells 'wellness'
   

Connie's tag reminds me to publish yet another one of my rare but insanely weird and bizzare dreams that i remember.

in this one,i meet a guy in a room with a few normal looking people around. He's topless but not really coz he's covered with ink. (LIKE MICHAEL SCOFIELD) but not really like michael coz he's not TOTALLY FILLED with tattoos. get what i mean? yeah. then suddenly he appears in front of me and turns his back towards me and i swear, i saw our msn conversation tattooed on his backI only saw "suuuuuu says : ______" and then "hajsfhjaskfgjds says :_____" and my taecyeon display picture tattooed too. but not what the convo was about.Weird,but still, IF THATS NOT COOL,NOTHING IS!

Funfestique is happening and i cant be more proud of ATLAS! :D
seriously dude,we kinda rock.


Went for BOTY ASIA today at D'marquee. i missed watching some bboying action! (L40 days were the shitzx) watching battles live never cease to amaze me. hot bboys,hot moves,so damn flexible and adrenaline-almost visible in the air. now thats enjoyment. Although, the event lacked in some ways (CHYEAH! -.-) ,im pretty happy that i got a tcket for half price instead of paying $37. ( THANK YOU NARI & HER FREE TICKETS! :D) oh! all areas crew from japan took the gold! theyre effing amazing! (i do not kid.) Then we went to pastamania where i underestimated the 'chilli' sign on the menu and ordered the most spiciest no-sauce pasta,ever. D:

On the way home on 39,i fell in love with Dynamic Duo for the 839389138 time and listened to 'Good love' (feat Kim Bum Soo) on repeat because i swear,its the sexiest song ever made.

GAEKO,YOUR BEATS SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF MY TORTURED SOUL.
kay,i dont really have a tortured soul.
Somebody on youtube commented that this was the best baby-making song ever he/she has ever heard.
I can see why.PAHAHAAHAHA. but seriously,freaking sexy!
Gaeko and Choija are freaking geniuses!Dynamic Duo is the shit.

When we go to korea next year ( AND WE WILL! IM EFFING DETERMINED ) im going to go to a dynamic duo gig,even if it means stowing away in a crate full of uhm....apples? yes. whatever it takes! I also want to shop till my wallet gives way and go to some underground hip hop clubs and go to the 63 building and the yg building and 2NE1's big ass apartment. just because.