its 3AM & i just came back from the 24/7 heaven that is Mustafa. We did our traditional sweet/junk food buying for raya today. (we buy loads loads of junk saying that it's for the guests that come to our house,but who are we kidding!- 90% of the junk will be eaten by us. HEHEHEHE)

Initially i was dead mad at my mom today (dont ask me why,i forgot) but then she bought me new sheets from Aussino and i felt happy and wasnt angry at her anymore. Bed sheets are the best form of bribery,imo.

Btw,epik high released their double CD tittled [e] this week. I am in musical heaven,every track is mind-blowing. I find myself just listening intently on my bed,with my earphones,picking up wordplay,irony, and pure genius in the lyrics. I did that for 4 hours today. I didnt even feel bored. It just occured to me that there's a lot of ear candy now. I feel like im reaching musical zen. (okay,not to that extent..but you get the point) Everybody should listen to [e] and feel enlightenment. I am also extremely in love with all the collaborations on the album. Dok2 is the future! & Dumbfoundead is amaaazing, and MYK never dissappoints. (they're all fairly sexy too. Dok2 (Y PLZ) I am definitely getting the album,already ordered my copy! oh btw,although Tablo is and will forever be my lyrical genius,I officially declare that DJ Tukutz aka Street T is officially the TURNTABLIST of my heart. Will get down to penning down my favourite lyrics from the album soon,honestly everything is just amazing.

Before i die,i really (REALLY) want a musical genius to write a song for me (just like how Gaeko and Choiza wrote 'Good Love' for their girlfriends and Tablo wrote 'Heaven' for his future wife) and how Dougie uhh.. wrote Transylvania for uhh.. randomness?) I want an amazing song thats filled with inside jokes only the two of us understand and lots of wordplay (like how Petruchio 'woos' Katherina) and with the acoustic guitar and with nice beats and an intro with speaking voices (ILOVETHAT IN SONGS!) God,can i have one please? (okay,if its not a full song,a verse will be okay too.lol. cannot be picky as there are very little musical geniuses left in the world.)

Also,much to the excitement of the english speaking world, I find myself listening to more english songs (Although,language has never been and will never be a barrier for me with music) This is because of my re-ignited love with Mcfly.I get very excited because i can discuss Mcfly with Khai every morning like about which parts Jones > Fletcher and how Harry is quite insignificant.hehehehe.
i think if Danny's singing voice was something marry-able (is that a word?) i would definitely marry it(?) because its just pure awesome,really.

I wonder how people survived when music wasnt widespread. (was there ever a time?) Music-deprivation would be the worse punishment ever imo. I get/feel way way way way uncomfortable and insecure when i dont have my earphones on any form of transportation. (its a bit of a stretch coz even if im talking to somebody i have half of the earphones on.) That's why when i dont have new songs on my ipod i get cranky and complain. A world without Tablo/epik high,Dynamic Duo, cheesy kpop songs that make you smile, John Mayer and addictive beats? zomg,just bury me alive;I'll make the earthworms devouring my body sing 'stand by you' in accapella and be happier dead than alive.

In a totally different note,i have decided how i want people to describe me. when people ask 'what kind of person is su?' for me,the best thing you can say is: ' Weird and Wonderful'
That kind of answer will make me incredibly happy. (please take note.PAHAHAHA)
oh btw, please dont say "Weird but Wonderful" because the word 'but' just undermines Weird and makes it seem like Weird is bad. No,weird is good. Weird is the new way of life. This is the post-normal era.)

I feel happy despite the fact that promos is shit close. Maybe its pre-festive optimism or maybe its the no-sleep induced high.The latter,most probably.




again,for fun!



currently:went to korean class,freezed to almost death,developed flu-like symptoms,fever developing steadily,throat feels like its on fire everytime i swallow and my backaches are making me feel like i am 70 years old.

has decided to lay off the fangirl for awhile coz im kinda tired of being so hardcore for so long.Not denying that fangirling was not fun,it was/is but everything just decided to feel exhausting only now,its like a clump of exhaustion snowballing from the time i decided that i liked DBSK and did not like SNSD.However,will not stop loving the language,the music or the artists.Just laying off the fan-wars and sarcastic commenting,checking for news all the time and the constant need to defend the groups that i like.This means i will stop hating snsd too because that leads to fan wars,sarcastic comments,checking for news all the time AND the need to defend the groups i like compared to snsd.

Somehow(probably with some help from the heavens),after today and being exhausted and sick,i have ceased to care so much for about things mentioned above.

is very serious about cleansing self with underground hip-hop.Dok2's mixtape is on repeat.
(i might have sneaked in Dynamic Duo's albums too. theyre not underground but whoshizzing cares.I am going to be cleansed)

the beats,the beats keep callin me~!

Up till now,i am half still in disbelief of what happened today.I cannot say that i am completely calmed now but i feel that if i dont write this down i will self-combust.When it first started i was annoyed then i was upset,then furious then genuinely worried then shocked then really,really sad and now all i feel helpless,listless,__-less. the works.It feels like a small but significant part of me is missing.am trying to be all mature fan girl about this but geez,it is hard.I will try to make myself feel better by writing this,even if it looks like the most pathetic attempt):

Im in no way the biggest 'Hottest' around but god knows i love 2pm.You know,to me what ever happened or what Jay said or didnt say doesnt matter.Heck,it didnt even bother me at all.Now that i think about it,im not even as furious at the mafia gang of netizens who have too much hate stuck up their asses as before.On the way home,after Van called me to say what happened and after Jane's text,surprisingly i wasnt thinking about 2pm's future activities or what not.What affected me more was what Jay was going through.Being attacked with such despicable comments by a bunch of beings that have no lives that they find enjoyment in demeaning others.Jay endured 4 days,heck i dont even think i can even handle one ): I kinda realise that 2pm's future is not really important now.Although when i first heard he was going,like everyone else i didnt want it to happen,didnt believe it,wanted KHOTTEST to start a riot at the airport to make sure that plane does not leave,but now as i think again i realise that its best for Jay to go back.At least for me,i wouldnt want one of my favourite entertainers to have to endure that kind of hate and to stay in that condition he was in.Even if he wasnt Park Jaybeom-the gorgeous man that he is,as a human being,i wouldnt want someone to be in that kind of low situation because of what he said on MYSPACE(when has myspace or fb even be considered legit enough to be taken seriously!)Im pretty sure it felt like the entire nation was turning against him,and im damned sure that feeling is not fun.not fun at all.
So i guess,i want Jay to go.I want him to feel better and get healthier in his hometown with his family.That being said,i want him to comeback when he feels as good as new,when he wants to-even if it takes years.Because that kind of talent,should never be wasted even if it was because of words lost in cultural translation.

Im going to go on a whim and say that i still believe Jay will come back when all this dies down and netizens repent their sins or die (doesnt matter,whatever works) I still believe that JYP will use his magic powers and make 2pm full again- with Jay.I still believe that the 2pm we see in Wild Bunny just a week ago will appear in front of our eyes again.If not soon,then later.Doesnt matter,whatever works.I will wait,eventhough i hate waiting because this is something i must wait for.I am not going to hate on people because that will just make me equal to the beings that blew this out of proportion.
Someday,i know i will get to see my favourite beasty brothers up on stage again.
I hope that Taec is okay.(even in times of despair,biasedness is evident.Ah,the human nature)

For now,I think i want to take a break with this fandom thing.Looking back on the whole,It is very exhausting trying to be clear-headed and 'chill' in this godforsaken world of fangirl-ing.I cannot handle all this excessive sadness,heartache or anger now.Will come back to fandom when i feel like it. till then,i will cleanse myself with underground hip hop and uhh..promos.



Not because i hate myself or my life.Just for fun.
in no particular order:



I love the smell of newly-washed bedsheets,they make me happy.Especially,white sheets from Aussino.(the ones im using now were meant for my little brother - it has footballs on them.They are charming,really!)It's a weird sensation.Just like when it suddenly starts pouring,i open my mother's bedroom window to smell the rain on the hot,tar road.I like that smell too.

Anyways,today has been a very exciting news day,on the kpop scene that is. TABLO aka the lyrical genius of my heart is getting married (and he's gonna be a dad) imagine little Tablo's running around.damn,i can already predict them to be little geniuses.I love Kang Hye Jung (his future wife) because she's an amazingly quirky actress.but still,i feel somekind of a loss.Marriage is such a humanly common thing to do,i kinda half-expected my life hero to be beyond humanly common.
but no suhaidah,your life hero however much his music and lyrics speak the language of your soul-is a human and humanly common is a given. (aka everybody deserves to be happy.)

Yesterday was 2pm's first anniv.and although i didnt celebrate it with cake and a spazz session(eh afrah? lol) I went to watch the debut videos because i miss 10점 만점애 10점(refer Fig 1.0) very much.When a lot of fans were only into 2pm after 'Again & Again' or after they came down to Singapore for kpop night,i clearly remember being very very excited about every 10점 만점애 10점 performance and how dorky/tall taec was/is.I like 'Hottest time of the day' more than 'time for change' actually.More being earnest in music shows because they were newbies than being retardedly funny on variety shows because they can.(not that i dont like the last part too.)
am waiting patiently for their comeback.AND NETZENS,LEAVE JAY ALONE damnit. go study or find a job.geezbeezz!

Yesterday i had a dream i saw Daesung after he recovered from his surgery and i stared at his nose up close for a very very long time (in dream time) to see if there was any difference.Why do weird dreams always happen to me?!For once,i want a perfectly normal dream which involves me in some kind of happy ending with ponies,skittles,rainbows and a house on top a mountain.

my REM life sucks!

edit/



i hate it when im hovering between sick and not sick. When i feel the need to drink Coke and 100 PLUS and gorge myself with food coz the early stages of flu just makes you very hungry.I hate this.I swear,tomorrow morning i will hate the fact that i will have an internal dilemma on whether to go to school or not.School is so lifeless,every conversation we have will somehow in some sad,sinister way be linked back to promos.I swear,it sucks the life out of me.Icing on the cake : ECONS PAPER ON ZE BIRTHDAY. if that's not fate,nothing is.ah,life is bliss!

i feel kind of stupid now.
@ 3:45pm today,whilst i cooked my maggi mee to eat (secretly,of course).
Mama : Aida,yesterday you never go korean class!
Me: What? yesterday wasnt Tuesday, yesterday was TEACHER'S DAY LAA.
Mama : *uh-huh look*
Me: ohshit,yesterday WAS Tuesday.
pwned.