Wednesday, August 12, 2009
i will walk around the hole.
As i sit on my bed,typing this whilst listening to lee minki's new mini album* and finishing up calling the rest of 'roll the coconut' participants for funfestique tomorrow**,somewhere in a VIP room in some hospital in Seoul;Kang Daesung is in pain.
and it feels like one of my closest friends is in the hospital and i feel the urgency to go to the hospital and comfort him,eventhough i hate hospitals because they remind me of pain and pills and death.

But he is not my close friend and i cannot take a taxi down to the hospital where he resides in pain and say 'its okay,your going to be alright.'

This,I know and it makes me feel and look more pathetic than i already am considering the fact that i am just a fangirl,whom some people might even find borderline creepy for me to feel for someone i dont know personally.True,but it doesnt take away the fact that he broke his nose and probably suffers the trauma of crashing into a dark abyss of semi-consiousness or the fact that he makes my darker days suddenly brighter with his voice or the fact that his smiles make me happy albeit in the most superficial ways or the fact that in my mind,one day we will meet and fall in love and share inside jokes that only we know of.(hehehehehehehe)No,my pathetic-ness does not take away those small but significant thoughts.Im okay with being pathetic,coz its the truth and since im not middle-aged and balding or job-less or failing backwards,i am still able to handle the truth and not be dragged down by it.

And maybe one day,ill grow out of being pathetic.Well,hopefully i will.but for now,i guess ill have to roll around in this pit of helpless-ness till the korean press reveals he is truly,okay.btw,this is not a depressing post.i swear.Im just mildly disturbed that there's nothing i can do and me realising that its okay to be pathetic and admitting it as it is okay to embrace your flaws and accepting them.(unless you dont have flaws and have extremely quick reflexes that produce answers to math problems at the speed of light.then,god made you perfect.)

*-Lee Minki's mini album is surprisingly good for a crossover actor-singer.It does help that he and me have similar hairstyles.pahahaha! (refer Fig 1.0)
**-FUNFESTIQUE! ohmyohmy.I am infinitely proud of my atlas house members and the lovable atlas hc for doing so well and giving their best in Funfestique so far,really.Last two days,let's kick it in full gear,bananas! Btw,im playing 'roll the coconut' tmrw.No matter how i think about it now,i think 'roll the coconut' sounds very kampong-ish.Not that i am from a kampong or a village or the slums of Jakarta for that matter,abang mohan.TSKTSKTSK.



Fig 1.0
Signing off @ 10:59 PM